love in her eyes and flowers in her hair

maybe its just a part of growing up, but i feel like I’m reaching that horrifying time of post graduation… while this event is still a heavenly year away, I’m dreading what will come immediately after it. I usually come ‘home’ for summer and winter breaks, to my moms house and to my room, to my dogs, my bed and my friends. except now i feel that i can’t go home for numerous reasons. besides the fact that its an awfully small town overflowing with my high school peers of yesteryear, and its horribly boring, my mother has begun to slowly refuse to house any of belongings. my room is now her room and her room is now the guest room.. which only consists of my bed..namely the mattress.. and the 5 bookshelves that will soon turn this room into some kind of magnificent library when my bed is gone. my bed being the only piece of furniture i have to my name since I’ve been in the dorms and renting a room for the past year and she sold my bedroom furniture. we don’t listen to each other anymore because she’s too blind sighted by her techy nerd boyfriend, she doesn’t listen to my stories about my great college successfulness she pushed me towards.. i can’t be around the house or her for more than 24 hours. ok. the woman got rid of tv. switching to netflix she says.  Netflix?! In my humble opinion, Netflix sux. Netflux. their movies are old…I signed up for the free trial once, attempted desperately for that month to find movies I found viable…got nothing…deleted my trial account.. and now receive daily emails filling up my inbox apologizing for their poor service. thank you very much. my point is valid.  really, none of this makes me angry, per se. (besides maybe the Netflix thats just cray) i think it makes me sad. sad to know that my mother and i won’t remain close forever, and that I’m starting to understand what they mean when they say you can’t go home again. the past few times I’ve come home, I’ve just wanted to leave again the next day… to go where i don’t know. the great beyond. maybe i actually am gaining knowledge from my higher education.. and not in the literary text book sense. in the wiser and realization sense of learning who I am and what I want out of this life. which is exciting, it is. its just happening so fast. this is when i relate to hannah horvath on another level. (watch girls on hbo) Here’s to making summertime worth your while. Enjoy it. I will be making a summertime bucket list quite soon, i suggest you do the same, whoever you are. xx

maybe its just a part of growing up, but i feel like I’m reaching that horrifying time of post graduation… while this event is still a heavenly year away, I’m dreading what will come immediately after it. I usually come ‘home’ for summer and winter breaks, to my moms house and to my room, to my dogs, my bed and my friends. except now i feel that i can’t go home for numerous reasons. besides the fact that its an awfully small town overflowing with my high school peers of yesteryear, and its horribly boring, my mother has begun to slowly refuse to house any of belongings. my room is now her room and her room is now the guest room.. which only consists of my bed..namely the mattress.. and the 5 bookshelves that will soon turn this room into some kind of magnificent library when my bed is gone. my bed being the only piece of furniture i have to my name since I’ve been in the dorms and renting a room for the past year and she sold my bedroom furniture. we don’t listen to each other anymore because she’s too blind sighted by her techy nerd boyfriend, she doesn’t listen to my stories about my great college successfulness she pushed me towards.. i can’t be around the house or her for more than 24 hours.

ok. the woman got rid of tv. switching to netflix she says.  Netflix?! In my humble opinion, Netflix sux. Netflux. their movies are old…I signed up for the free trial once, attempted desperately for that month to find movies I found viable…got nothing…deleted my trial account.. and now receive daily emails filling up my inbox apologizing for their poor service. thank you very much. my point is valid. 

really, none of this makes me angry, per se. (besides maybe the Netflix thats just cray) i think it makes me sad. sad to know that my mother and i won’t remain close forever, and that I’m starting to understand what they mean when they say you can’t go home again. the past few times I’ve come home, I’ve just wanted to leave again the next day… to go where i don’t know. the great beyond. maybe i actually am gaining knowledge from my higher education.. and not in the literary text book sense. in the wiser and realization sense of learning who I am and what I want out of this life. which is exciting, it is. its just happening so fast. this is when i relate to hannah horvath on another level. (watch girls on hbo)

Here’s to making summertime worth your while. Enjoy it. I will be making a summertime bucket list quite soon, i suggest you do the same, whoever you are.

xx

my future Parisian apartment? oui

my future Parisian apartment? oui

(via loverunway)

totally my style. my room is pink with pink lighting too.  suicideblonde: Chloe Sevigny’s bedroom photographed by François Dischinger for New York Magazine, May 7th 2012

totally my style. my room is pink with pink lighting too. 

suicideblonde:

Chloe Sevigny’s bedroom photographed by François Dischinger for New York Magazine, May 7th 2012

I like drinking coffee alone and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone and walking home alone. It gives me time to think and set my mind free. I like eating alone and listening to music alone. But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. The sky is beautiful, but the people are sad. I just need someone who won’t run away.